In an attempt to not be awkward I think I am actually being more awkward. I just called y’all “fellas,” wow, I am already off to a horrible start. I am so sorry.
Truth be told, I am so moved by your heart. I am moved by your ability to eat a cheeseburger for lunch and a steak for dinner and never once consider the size of your hips afterwards. I am moved by your silly nights making jokes and starting a band a 3 a.m. I am moved by your laid back nature; never thinking a day is wasted on the couch. I am moved by your strength and the way you walk and live for thrills and adventure. I am moved by the fact that God wanted to make something to show forth and communicate the power of His strength and protective nature and He said, “I’ll make ‘man.'” That’s you!
But, I am here to talk about the silent killer of your life. The silent killer, but the total purpose of your life: Love. That thing that has silently killed you and has led you down so many paths and making so many decisions.
Question for you: If Jesus really is this insanely passionate lover who proved His love for us by being insanely passionate enough to suffer through a Crucifixion, to take the place of our sin and misery, than seriously tell me why you are so afraid of that? …cause I don’t think men want that for themselves.
Actually, no. You DO want that. You want it, but the world has lied to you in where to find it because there’s no chance it’s through Jesus, right? You do want to be leader, provider, and brave adventurer but that’s probably not how you’ve seen, experienced, or heard anyone refer to Jesus. And an imaginary friend? No way you’re being a priest either because Jesus was a man of chastity, so you have a lot to do before that could ever be an option… Do I know you or do I know you?
Whatever the object of your quest is in life: the beautiful wife, the adventure, the life of thrill, the job, the sports, the action, whatever it is, it’ll never be worth as much as loving well. You could gain all of those things in a snap but if you don’t love well than to get it it might not be as fulfilling.
There’s a movie called Midnight in Paris. I’m going to take a wild guess and say you have not seen it since theres no exploding cars or guns. Let me share a quote from it. It’s spoken by a character who is actually Ernest Hemingway;
“I believe that love is true and real creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving or not loving well, which is the same thing. And then the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face, like some rhino-hunters I know or Belmonte, who is truly brave… It is because they love with sufficient passion, to push death out of their minds… until it returns, as it does, to all men.”
^ Jesus. Right there. A man who looked death squarely in the face and with sufficient passion pushed it out of His mind. How? By suffering through it and coming out victorious.
What is the fear holding you back from being the man you know you could be but feel you haven’t? What’s stopping you? Admit it; you’re lonely. (I am too, I don’t mean it harshly). You’re lonely and crave love as much as the girls do but you’ll never actually tell anyone. Guess what God did when He created the man? He made him a woman. A woman who sustains His soul and loves him to the point of his own goodness. God is not an idiot, He knows you want a woman and He knows a heartless woman is the exact opposite of what He wants for you. Loneliness is harder for men than women — they just hide it better.
But, yeah, maybe ‘somewhere far along this road you lost your soul to a woman so heartless.’ She so cold as the winter wind in the breeze, yo (Thanks, Kanye West).
Maybe you didn’t have a great Father figure, or followed the way of your friends down a harsh path.
Maybe the thought of relying on God sounds weak. Maybe you don’t feel brave enough to protect and lead others.
Maybe vulnerability was never offered to you. Maybe the girl of your dreams is really just that, a dream. It’s all really demanding, right?
Right. So the solution is to settle for mediocrity.
My purpose in writing this was to tell you two things
- I, a young woman who speaks on behalf of all women, believe in you and need you
- God, a powerful spirit who loves you, believes in you and needs you
Not to be perfect for us ladies. Not to open every door for us (although I will gladly accept this gesture). Not to take care of my every need. Not so I can say things to you in some sneaky language where it requires you read my mind knowing if I’m trying to guilt you like I am insecure. No.
The invitation from God is firstly, always, to be a lover. What does that even mean?
To imitate Jesus for His playful, courageous, gentle, and complete savagery. To stand up for what is right. To stand firm in His Truth. To know the the invitation to love is to simply be present and willing to say, “I’m here, what do you need?” while simultaneously knowing you’re not the savior, just the arms of protection. Women are strong. We don’t need you, but we want you and believe in the love you offer. Unfortunately, you might not believe you have it, though. Or you do have it, and “she’s” hurt it. Sorry for that.
As a young woman, I am more attracted to a man who knows who He is, walks confidently in his ways, serves God, and protects the people around him. Not a man who tries to be tougher than He looks. A man compassionate and brave is more attractive than a man who looks like he lives at the gym. Need any more clarifications?
I will admit that there is only so much I can really say. I can tell you, from experience and life, that all this is true based on who Jesus is in The Bible, and who He has been for me. The man who let my soul feel its worth. So, here is my invitation to you to take the time to consider Jesus’ ways. Start walking with Him in battle. There are great resources out there to start your adventure.
For now, in honor, dignity, and respect, promise me that in any chance you get to allow a woman to feel her worth is YOUR invitation to dignify her. Dignify doesn’t have to be synonymous to dating her, hooking-up with her, or using her and you can even tell her those exact words.
Be brave, be bold. Be a lover.
Know you have a sister praying for you,